Edgar Allan Poe

You are unquestionably brilliant, but you have some issues that only long, intensive bouts of therapy can cure. You are obsessed with ideas of claustrophobia, and you tend to describe these situations in terms that sound suspiciously like a womb; you also are likely to marry your 13 year-old cousins. No wonder guilt is a main theme of your writing - Freud would have a field day with you! Unfortunately, you're much more likely to self-medicate with opium and alcohol than to seek help; it's hard to describe your mommy issues when you're lying in a Providence, RI, gutter.